i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
