I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Quick, to the slutcave!
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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