Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
