he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize