please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
The feeling are messing with the penis
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Randomize
