i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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