Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
