dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
