wat bout pragnant strippers??
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
