My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I wish i was in the wii world.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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