Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
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