I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
