i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize