Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize