Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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