You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Do vagina's smell?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
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