The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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