Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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