So drunk its hurt
You can't motorboat a personality
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
