My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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