he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
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