uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
