I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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