Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
are you so shy because you have an std?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
