The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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