Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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