Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
