Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
