I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
