I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
