Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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