What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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