I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
it was like eating out sand paper
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
