Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
