i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Randomize
