dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
