David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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