Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
