I wannas sexs uuuuu
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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