It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
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