stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
