Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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