I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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