"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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