I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
