We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
i out mim tonsoeep
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
