If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize