i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
