She is in my trunk
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
