So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize