porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
