glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Boobs speak an international language.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
