Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
