i jhust puked up my retainher.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
i've created a new STD.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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