she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
