so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
please don't ironically join a cult
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