he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
