If i come over, it means nothing
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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