Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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