So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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