You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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